The First Day of Coaching: Stop Getting Your Buttons Pushed

December 14, 2017

Have you ever had your buttons pushed by someone? Yes, of course; we all have!

 

Right now, when you read that question, did you see the face of the person who recently pushed one of your buttons? Yep – me too! And now you’re thinking of the situation or scenario, right? Good…

 

Now, hold that moment in your mind for a bit. What were the circumstances around that moment? If you wrote down that entire situation, who’s perspective of it would it be from?

 

From yours – it’s not a trick question.

 

The button wasn’t pushed because of the situation or the story around it, the button was pushed because it was you – your button.

 

Here’s the thing – our buttons are not the responsibility of the person we’re engaged with at the moment the button is pushed; it’s each person’s obligation to be responsible for their own buttons.

 

Buttons, and whether or not they’re pushed, are all about
your sense of control in that moment.

The more out-of-control you feel or think you are, in any given circumstance, the more you try and figure out a way to gain back that control. When your multiple, different problem solving techniques, trying to grab control from different directions and take-back attempts don’t work a button is formed in your consciousness. Anytime you get into a situation (similar or different to when the button was formed) where the same thoughts and feelings are present, instead of creating a new button – the current button gets pushed, and pushed, and pushed. It’s less about the situation and more about your thoughts and feelings around the situation.

 

You see, nobody can push a button that doesn’t already exist.

 

So...how do you take ownership of your buttons and stop the automatic cycle of reaction (and overreaction) to the same thoughts and feelings?
 

  1. Mentally, emotionally, and physically stop yourself (Practice the Pause) and breathe.
     

  2. Ask, “How emotionally reactive am I to this situation?”
     

  3. “What is the interpretation that I’m currently believing that caused this reaction?
    (aka – the button)”
     

  4. “What’s really going on in this situation?”
     

  5. Ask “How will I handle this situation if, and when, it comes up again?” You’ll be surprised how many different options you actually have to answer this question.

 

Life is cyclical so therefore patterns emerge. As you consider what your buttons might be, think about each situation’s time in your life – such as season of the year or season at work. You’re bound to find something that keeps reoccurring in your life that continues to push one of your buttons.

If you’re interested in learning more about reducing your buttons and even diminishing them, contact me and we’ll setup your free strategy session.

Remember the next time one of your buttons is pushed, you can think about it one of three ways:

 

“My button was pushed by someone.”
“Someone pushed my button.”
“I let my button get pushed.”

 

…the choice, and the ability to change, is yours!

 

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